Monthly Archives: March 2009

Six years

It has been six years since the AVM in Virginia’s brain broke.  At the end of February.  This is the first year that we made little to no special notice of the anniversary.  And it is the first year we have not been back to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center for any reason.  I am glad of that.  In these six years we have been hanging around hospitals of various sorts a lot.  We go to Health South rehab center in Concord twice a week for OT–occupational therapy—therapy for above the waist movement.  For walking it is called PT–physical therapy.  The Health South place reminds me of the mental hospital I was in for a few days back in college in the sense that it is off in a grassy park of sorts and inside it is institutional.  Not as bleak and smoke-stained as Eugenia Memorial Hospital was back in the 60s, but mauve and calmatively silver-gray with huge southern style crown moldings running along every ceiling.  I wonder if they are not architectural versions of the plantation dresses of fabled yore. In every hospital the social drama continues behind that overly perky and polite veneer of weary caregivers and professional samaritans everywhere.  Visiting the ER now gives one a break from all that fake good manners.  Procedure has now taken precedence over healing—thanks I guess to the accountants—and ER care is now as slam-bam stepbystep as the now bygone factory system.  

One excitement to watch for over the next ten or twenty years is to see who will pop up as the Bernie Madoff of health care.  And who the AIG and so on.  Saving the financial system from the Savings & Loan scandal-robbery of thirty years ago should have been warning enough that another version was bound to happen and so our current financial malaise is surely foreteller of what health care will face soon enough.  But then my skills as prophet are jaundiced by experiences now part of history not the future.

Before the computer

Before the computer I would wake up and write in my journal and read. Now I touch the keypad and fire up the screen and scan for email and news and “news” of questionable value from the myriad of bookmarks and links. Linking has replaced contemplating. This morning I sent an Item about how celebs hire ghostwriters to keep them on Twitter to my own Twitter page as this mornings post.

Before, however, I was much more comfortable in my own skin, I knew myself better, I was more happily adjusted to hanging out with just me and my problems and motifs and imaginary complaints, my own interior landscape. Now I often wonder if I even know where that is, where I am.

And do I really want to know Craig185 got drunk on “Elvis Costellos” last night?  Or that the fake Christopher Walken has come up with another clever walkenesque walkenpercue?

We are indeed all living in Argentina after all.

real worry, anxiety; Argentina is US?

Dear GG—Here is the message I used to forward your column to some of my friends– Ten years ago this spring we were in Argentina for a little more than three weeks. I learned more about the sad history of that country than I really wanted to know. In 1910 Argentina was in the top 5-10 of richest nations in the world. It is there I first heard the word “kleptocracy.” These past few months of our ongoing financial meltdowns and Bernie Madoff tales, I have been mumbling to myself only “holy cow I feel more and more like we are becoming another fucking Argentina.” Now here a respected political columnist for Salon.com is saying this out loud. I find this to be really scary. Bob G – Hide quoted text – ———- Forwarded message ———- From: Date: Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 8:01 PM Subject: Comparing the U.S. to Russia and Argentina To: robert.garlitz@gmail.com robert.garlitz@gmail.com has sent you a link to an article on Salon.com: “Comparing the U.S. to Russia and Argentina” A long-time official with Salomon and the IMF warns that we are replicating the same dynamic that caused collapse in other countries. Glenn Greenwald http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2009/03/26/comparisions/index.html

Ben La Rocco on touch

The whole of a painting is greater than the sum of its parts and if I use a brush stroke to express a feeling I am not doing so because I understand that there is an equation between a certain type of brush stroke and a certain feeling. I am using a particular brush stroke because, on some deep, very hard to specify level of myself I believe there is some connection between the way my body moves and the way I feel so that this particular brush stroke’s propositional weight might, if I am fully present in the making of it, convey that feeling. Everything I read (just like everything I do) feeds into me and through me (as everyone’s experience fosters their presentation of themselves) and contributes to the type of brush stroke I make.

Interview with Blogpix Artist Ben La Rocco

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{maybe} @ 3′x4′

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Will nobility return?

Roger Scruton makes a distinction I recognize —            http://spectator.org/archives/2009/03/10/the-new-humanism

The old humanism was not a pleasure-seeking, still less a pleasure-loving philosophy. It took its inspiration from Enlightenment philosophers, from Milton, Blake, and D. H. Lawrence, and from the legacy of Western art. The humanist who most influenced me at Cambridge believed that in no works had humanity been more blessed by true ideals than in the St. Matthew Passion of Bach and the Tristan und Isolde of Wagner, the one a work of Christian devotion, the other a work that makes no mention of God or gods, but simply dwells on the exalted nature of erotic love when tied to mutual sacrifice. Although I was skeptical toward that kind of humanism, I never doubted its nobility of purpose. It was devoted to exalting the human person above the human animal, and moral discipline above random appetite. It saw art, music, and literature not simply as pleasures, but as sources of spiritual strength. And it took the same view of religion. Humanists of the old school were not believers. The ability to question, to doubt, to live in perpetual uncertainty, they thought, is one of the noble endowments of the human intellect. But they respected religion and studied it for the moral and spiritual truths that could outlive the God who once promoted them.

Observing the new humanism from my old perspective I am struck not only by its lack of positive belief, but also by its need to compensate for this lack by antagonism toward an imagined enemy. I say “imagined,” since it is obvious that religion is a declining force in Britain. There is no need to consult the pronouncements of the Archbishop of Canterbury: the response to the bus campaign abundantly proves the point. But a weak enemy is precisely what these negative philosophies require. Like so many modern ideologies, the new humanism seeks to define itself through what it is against rather than what it is for. It is for nothing, or at any rate for nothing in particular. Ever since the Enlightenment there has been a tendency to adopt this negative approach to the human condition, rather than to live out the exacting demands of the Enlightenment morality, which tells us to take responsibility for ourselves and to cease our snivelling. Having shaken off their shackles and discovered that they have not obtained contentment, human beings have a lamentable tendency to believe that they are victims of some alien force, be it aristocracy, the bourgeoisie, capitalism, the priesthood, or simply the belief in God. And the feeling arises that they need only destroy this alien force, and happiness will be served up on a plate, in a garden of pleasures. That, in my view, is why the Enlightenment, which promised the reign of freedom and justice, issued in an unending series of wars.

I never thought, when I finally put the old humanism behind me, that I would ever feel nostalgia over its loss. But now I recognize that it was not only noble in itself, but was also a serious attempt to retain the belief in nobility without the theological vision on which that belief had once depended. It was, in effect, a proof of the ideal that it proposed: an example of how human beings can provide themselves with values, and then live up to them.

Poem by Patrick Armstrong

Pigs my Love

 

It was you

            you were with me

                                    Pigs my Love

            when the mist rose

                        and the worm had not eaten

            and we stumbled through the web

                                    and lay in the deer-flattened grass.

 

Other evenings

we slept skin to skin

                                    under the ceiling fan

                                                with the sunset on the sea

                                    and a great calm on the sea

                        and a red and golden wind among the cedars.

 

Lightning came 

            and we went to the beach to watch.

It was so hot the first drops

                                    steamed on the sand.

            Then rose the wind and the rain

                        slanted over the sea and across the island.

                        I ran for the house

                                    but you took your time

            saying it is unseemly

                        for the queen to hurry.

 

When we move to the mountains we will become

                        unlawful botanists

                        and our days will be entomological

                        and our nights astronomical

                        and our aesthetic undertakings will include

                                    paintings

                                                primitive as Dubuffet’s

                                    plays

                                                to honor dead pets

                                    poems

                                                erudite as Pound’s

                                    tales

                                                superfluous as the Pickwick Club’s

                                    dioramas

                                                exquisite as Cornell’s

                                    drawings

                                                like those at Lascaux

                                    and clocks

                                                made of old things and bones et cetera

                        and we shall sup  

                                    on the lawn           

                                                by the river

                                                            in the sun.

 

The painting on the mezzanine

                                    a Parisian in soft hue

                        reminds me of you           

                                                            so serious

even nude.

                                    You see you are the most beautiful

            redhead blondehead brunette.

                        Even now

                                    when you are here

                                    I miss you.

 

                                                            When we were young we tried to be old

                                                                            for the beginning is difficult

                                                 and when we were old we tried to be young

                                                                    for the end is difficult

                                     and sometimes we believed in always

                                                                                                it’s not hard

                                                                                    just blur your eyes

                                                                        and the stars are fireflies

                                                and the moon’s a dandelion.

                                   

I will not touch you now

            for if I stroked your hair

                                    or moved my arm from under your neck

                                                you would wake

                                                            and turn into me

                                                and our love would persist

                                    and there are so many others.  

 

 

 

 

                                                                        –Patrick Armstrong

AIG & other such bloodsuckers

Casting about in the commentaries on our times, I chanced upon this passage which has such familiar tones and undertones—

The extensive wars wherewith —X— was burdened during his reign, while draining the State’s treasury and exhausting the substance of the people, none the less contained the secret that led to the prosperity of a swarm of those bloodsuckers who are always on the watch for public calamities, which, instead of appeasing, they promote or invent so as, precisely, to be able to profit from them the more advantageously. The end of this so very sublime reign was perhaps one of the periods in the history of the French Empire when one saw the emergence of the greatest number of these mysterious fortunes whose origins are as obscure as the lust and debauchery that accompany them. It was toward the close of this period, and not long before the Regent sought, by means of the famous tribunal which goes under the name of the Chambre de Justice, to flush this multitude of traffickers, that four of them conceived the idea for the singular revels whereof we are going to give an account.